I carried out the motherly tasks of tucking in and singing songs while digesting an unreasonable amount of celebratory/commiseration booze.
A few wonderful things happened yesterday.
I spent some quality time shopping with my sister and we may have found my wedding dress. I also received a place in the Masters course I have had my fingers crossed over.
The bad news is the gown will cost us a-way out-of-our-budget amount of money.
Except that a lot of our guests are happy to chip in and the rest of them say "you only want to do this once, you deserve what you want"
Then all the Hannah's, with all their varying perspectives and experiences, go to war.
And the only thing left for me to do is cry and hyper-ventilate.
"To the many Hannah's!"
I think I'm going to let the wedding industry rip me off.
Because how I feel about myself on this day, is truly important.
Even if it makes me a penny-less sucker and an insecure, capitalist, dick-tweed, who could not think about the wonderful celebration my marriage will be, in a regular white dress.
Because I loved the boning, the layers of fabric and lace train, I loved it.
And now I know exactly how much beautiful costs when you can't get it by knowing your a good person and being at peace with yourself.
I don't want to be the person that needs to spend that much money to feel good, but maybe I am, maybe that's where I am right now...
While I was tucking Isaac in I sung him his goodnight songs, he wanted to know about my day so I told him about the dresses I tried on.
I told him about the one with jewels and sequins stitched to it, which caused him to become very excited.
I told him that they all had big puffy skirts;
"You mean like a marshmallow?" he clarified, "I want you to wear one like that" he added.
I realised Stephen was sitting in his doorway listening too, wanting to know more about the business of getting married.
They don't want to be pirates any more. I am a little devastated. I'm going to include some dress ups in the kids corner though, just in case they change their minds. ..
|A true to life representation of the dress Isaac wants me to wear|